Strange Things

When It Rains..

erratic_prophet | 28 June, 2006 11:02

I'm finally posting after somewhat recovering from probably the most stressful weekend at work in history. To sum it up: the mugginess was unbearable, the central air was blowing hot instead of cool, people were getting sick and dizzy left and right, many coworkers were going through personal crises, I found out another coworker not only had a stroke, but also a heart attack and lung cancer and only a few days left to live, and then I got into it with my department manager who has this tendency to shriek at people like a banshee because she has no self-control whatsoever. I can't even count how many times she screamed so badly at the coworker with MS (Multiple Sclerosis) that she had to take medical leave. The stress would make her body shut down.
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Tightening the Belt

erratic_prophet | 23 June, 2006 17:34

Father: "When I was on vacation, I had a man make three extra holes in my belt and now look." (Showing only one hole left on the belt.) "What do you think that means?"

Me: "The belt stretched?"

It was almost too easy..

Southern Discomfort

erratic_prophet | 22 June, 2006 15:16

From my very southern cousin during family reunion (imagine a Scarlett O'Hara accent)...

Southern Cousin: "So on the way up here, we stopped for a bite to eat. I was dying for something to drink so I asked for a sweet tea. They told me 'Ma'am, we're sorry but we don't have any sweet tea, we only have unsweetened tea.' so I got that. And wouldn't you know it? It was that Nestea stuff. Well, I knew I was north of Virginia then!"

You can take the girl out of the south, but not the sweet tea out of her hands.

No Rest for the Wicked

erratic_prophet | 16 June, 2006 10:14

For some odd reason, the powers that be at work deem it necessary to put out the most inept schedules ever. You would think that our department manager would then correct them, but you would be wrong. My previous manager had, but then she was a control freak of the highest degree.

Since I am also a control freak, I often take it upon myself to iron out the schedule whenever gross idiocy occurs. This is why I'm punished, I believe. My schedule is either a feast or famine event. I am never allowed to work in moderation. Lately, it has been of the feast variety. I've worked seven days straight the past week and before that only had one day off. This coming weekend was supposed to be my weekend off. But, alas and alack, I am a sucker who will take upon myself any unwanted hours from coworkers with a sad story. I will now be working about 16 hours this weekend alone.

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Letters

erratic_prophet | 13 June, 2006 11:15

Dear life,

Stop sucking.

Ready to pimp slap someone,

***

Dear work,

Yesterday made me happy. Things went well. All was busy when it should have been, all was quiet when it needed to be. I look forward to days like that. That is, until I come home and look up my up-coming check online and see you totally screwed me out of money. I want my $28.56, dammit! And? I totally hate that one manager. She's a wench. Also? Could you possibly schedule me for more hours? I'm sure I don't need to sleep or eat or breathe. Yes, that was sarcasm.

Hugs an' kisses,

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Opinionated

erratic_prophet | 05 June, 2006 13:42

My cousin's two-- almost three!-- year old was over today. She's quite the opinionated little tot and shared with me her thoughts on many subjects, including..

On morality: "These kids came into my yard and play with my toys! They ride my car! Bad kids! They don't even ask my mommy! Bad kids!"

On food:"I like spicy chicken!"

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